When was the last time you sat down as a couple and talked about the future in a meaningful way? Often it can feel as though there is not enough time in the day. With work, kids, and life’s responsibilities, taking time to talk about the future seems like a luxury.
That may seem true at first glance. The last thing you want to do after a long day is talk about distant dreams. Talking about the future can seem futile when there’s so much to focus on in the present.
The research from the Gottman Institute points in a different direction. Couples who help each other make their life dreams come true are happier. These life dreams don’t even have to be exactly the same as your partner. The key is frequent and intentional communication and planning. Couples who take steps towards sharing their dreams are more likely to have them come true.
Find Time to Share Your Life Dreams
The first and most difficult step may be to find the time to have the conversation. You have to see it as a priority. Talking about your dreams as a couple is as important as managing conflict or exploring sex. If you see the value of sharing your dreams, you’ll be more likely to have the conversation.
Ask your partner to imagine themselves in 5 years. What are they doing? Where do they live? What do they hope to have accomplished? How do they imagine the marriage has evolved?
Your Dreams Do Not Have To Be Exactly The Same
Couples are going to have different dreams for themselves. Partners will have unique goals for the relationship. It’s not essential that you agree 100% with your partner. It is important to appreciate their desires and be open to compromise.
Compromise is about listening and being willing to accept influence. One partner describes their life dream as owning property in the country. The other partner wants to travel the world. A compromise might entail sacrificing in the present to ensure there’s enough funds for both.
Life Dreams Are About Meaning
Talking about shared dreams helps create meaning in the relationship. Talking about future goals helps partners understand what is important in the relationship.
Even with unattainable dreams, there are ways to experience meaning. If one person wants to own a vineyard, the other person may suggest traveling to a vineyard as a compromise. While the dream of owning a vineyard may not possible in the short term, the meaning of enjoying nature and good drink is.
Therapy Can Help You Express Dreams
Sometimes one person is hesitant to communicate what they want in the future. One partner may struggle with feelings of selfishness or shame.
A marriage counselor can help one express the desires of the heart. Learning to communicate what is important to you can help you feel better about yourself. It can also enrich your marriage.
A couples therapist can also help two people reach a healthy compromise. When a couple has competing dreams, a couples therapist can help the couple discern the meaning in the dreams.
When the couple can be clear about their meaning, they can find ways to connect with their partner.
Begin Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy at Katy Teen & Family Counseling: Katy, Tx & Houston
At Katy Teen & Family Counseling, our marriage therapists and couples counselors can help. Marriage counseling or couples therapy can help strengthen communication in a relationship. Healthy, strong communication is the foundation of a strong relationship.
If you are ready to start your healing journey at Katy Teen & Family Counseling, all you need to do is follow these three simple steps:
Contact Katy Teen & Family Counseling
Let us help you fall in love all over again!
Other Therapy and Counseling Services Offered at Katy Teen & Family Counseling: Serving Katy, Tx & Houston
Below are a few of the other counseling services we provide for teens, families, and young adults in Katy, Tx and Houston:
Peak performance (optimal academic brain performance)
Peak performance (optimal athletic brain performance)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR Therapy)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
About the Author
Quique Autrey is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and family therapist. He is a seasoned couples therapist and marriage counselor.
Quique also has a passion for helping teens, young adults, and adults who may be on the Autism Spectrum. He has a talent for connecting with and helping people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
If you're ready to start your healing journey in marriage counseling or couples therapy, you can call us at 346-202-4662 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.