Most people will fall in love at lest three times in their life. For some people this will be with the same person. Even in the same relationship, life will being about different forms of the same relationships where you may fall in love all over again.
The truth embedded in this statement is that relationships change. Marriages evolve, for better or for worse. Every relationships passes through several stages. All this mirrors the nature of reality itself.
The philosopher Heraclitus promoted the idea that the universe is constant change. He is famous for saying that you cannot step into the same river twice.
This may not be a bad way of thinking about your marriage. Your marriage is a living organism that grows and changes over time. Are you fighting or embracing the change?
Our Fear Of Change
Most people fear change. The unknown terrifies us. We want things to stay the same because that means we’ll be safe. Couples also struggle with some of the ways their marriage has changed.
Husbands complain that their wives don’t want to have sex as often
Wives complain that their husbands don't want to have sex as often Wives complain that their husbands don’t try to woo them as often
Husbands complain that their wives work too much
Couples lament that kids have changed their passion and fun
Couples struggle with their partner’s evolved political and religious views
Relationships and marriages do not stay stagnate. They are either in a state of decline or growth. Change is inevitable.
Resisting the changes exacerbates existing issues. You can either push back or embrace the change
Embracing the Change
How does a couple embrace the changes in their relationship. Embracing the change requires both people to communicate, be present, and patient.
Here are a few practical tips to help you as a couple embrace the changes in your relationship or marriage:
1. Intentional Exploration
You want to be careful not to assume where you partner is at. It is important to sit down with them often and explore where they are in life. It can even be done in a fun way.
I enjoy using a deck of cards like "Skin Deep" to explore how my wife has changed over time. I try to schedule a specific time where we can have quality time to chat. These questions invite deep conversation and help us understand each other better.
2. Encourage New Experiences
Change can be scary when the other person moves in a direction you’re not familiar with. Embracing change might include having new experiences with your partner. Explore with your partner new things the two of you can do together -- then do it:
Go to a new restaurant
Travel to a new city together
Get creative in your intimate life
Start a new hobby or take a class together
Change can be something that you and your partner experiment with together. This way the two of you are changing together.
3. Process Changes in Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling
Couples therapy and marriage counseling can be the ideal place to explore these changes with your partner. A marriage counselor or couples therapist can help you navigate some of these changes in a safe space.
Sometimes you want to try something new but are afraid that you’re partner will judge you. Marriage therapy and couples counseling can be a place where you introduce a desire for change and process that with your partner.
A couples therapist and marriage counselor can help you put language and meaning to a desire for something different.
Marriage counseling and couples therapy can also be a process that helps you move out of the stuck places. A therapist can introduce exercises and strategies to help you embrace change. Therapy can also help with the uncertainties around navigating change in a relationship.
Begin Therapy for Young Adults at Katy Teen & Family Counseling: Serving Young Adults in Katy, Tx
At Katy Teen & Family Counseling, our marriage therapists and couples counselors can help. Don't put off starting marriage counseling or couples therapy until it becomes a crisis. We can help strengthen the foundation of your marriage or relationship so things don't hit a crisis level.
If you are ready to start your healing journey at Katy Teen & Family Counseling, all you need to do is follow these three simple steps:
Contact Katy Teen & Family Counseling
Let us help you fall in love all over again!
Other Therapy and Counseling Services Offered at Katy Teen & Family Counseling: Serving Katy, Tx & Houston
Below are a few of the other counseling services we provide for teens, families, and young adults in Katy, Tx and Houston:
Peak performance (optimal academic brain performance)
Peak performance (optimal athletic brain performance)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR Therapy)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
About the Author
Quique Autrey is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and family therapist. He is a seasoned couples therapist and marriage counselor.
He also is a family systems therapist. He views each individual through that lens and provides therapy for the family system which includes: teen therapy, young adult counseling, family counseling, marriage counseling & couples therapy.
Quique also has a passion for helping teens, young adults, and adults who may be on the Autism Spectrum. He has a talent for connecting with and helping people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
If you're ready to start your healing journey in marriage counseling or couples therapy, you can call us at 346-202-4662 or email us at email@example.com.