Marriage counseling and couples therapy can include working through problems or difficulties. Once this work has been done, the really enjoyable work of learning to reconnect begins.
Getting creative on how to reconnect in your marriage can be fun. Going on a fancy vacation or buying their partner an expensive gift can be a part of celebrating your relationship for sure. There are other ways that can also add meaning and strength to a marriage or relationship.
As a marriage counselor and couples therapist, I find the best way to reconnect and reignite passion in your relationship is to establish a frequent rhythm of positive connection. Dr. John Gottman has found through years of research that couples who want to experience deeper intimacy should find ordinary ways of turning toward each other. The goal is for these connection points to be positive and frequent.
Below is a list of six ideas to help you reconnect with your partner.
Six Ideas to Help You Reconnect With Your Partner
1. No Screens During Meals
We are all glued to our screens. It's difficult to focus on your partner and their needs when you are distracted by social media, the news or emails.
Put your phones away when you share a meal with your partner. This will help with eye contact and empathy which are cornerstones of deep listening.
If you enjoy dinners without screens, you can challenge yourself and find other times to put away your screens and give your partner your undivided attention.
2. Schedule a Weekly Date
Date night with your spouse is so important. Weekly date nights are ideal although monthly ones will work as well.
Many of us are busy with work, kids and other responsibilities. Try not to go more than a month without a meaningful date.
Remember, date night does not have to be extravagant or expensive. You can even have a date night in where you order pizza and watch a fun movie. If you're feeling adventurous, build anticipation and keep the itinerary a total surprise.
3. Show Up During Difficult Times
We all need a friend during difficult times. We want to turn to our spouse when we feel anxious, insecure, or sad. Make sure you're attuned to your partners needs and feelings.
When they come to you with a struggle, listen before giving advice. Your spouse wants to feel heard and understood. A good marriage strives to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. One of the most effective ways to minimize relational suffering is by supporting our partner during difficult times.
4. Create a Relationship Journal
You and your spouse can each start a journal where you record important things about your relationship and then share it with the other person. Many couples write down something they are grateful for about the other person.
Other couples record their hopes and dreams. You can even write down struggles and things you would like to improve about yourself and the relationship.
5. Express Your Dreams
A couple's shared values, dreams and sources of meaning are an important part of what keeps them thriving through the ups and downs of life. Take time to discuss what you're wanting out of life.
Make space to discuss the existential questions including work fulfillment, spirituality, and death. Expressing your dreams does not have to be a cheesy experience. It can be one of the most satisfying aspects of your relationship.
6. Remember the Good Times
Reminiscing about memorable experiences can be a helpful way to build intimacy and positive energy. Take time to laugh about past birthdays and vacations.
Create a scrap book or digital movie with some of your favorite memories. Positive memories can help you reconnect with your partner and yourself.
Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy at Katy Teen & Family Counseling: Katy, Tx & Houston
At Katy Teen & Family Counseling, our marriage therapists and couples counselors are here to help you with whatever the challenges may be in your relationship. Marriage counseling or couples therapy can be very effective in helping couples overcome challenges, learn to reconnect, and strengthen the relationship you have worked so hard for over the years.
Our Katy, Tx location of Katy Teen and Family Counseling, is conveniently located off of I-10 and 99. We are a couple blocks south of Kingsland Boulevard and across the street from Encompass Health in Katy, Texas.
If you are ready to start marriage counseling or couples therapy, all you need to do is follow these three simple steps:
Contact Katy Teen & Family Counseling
Speak with one of our marriage counselors or couples therapists
Partner with our marriage counselors or couples therapist to help you reconnect with your spouse or partner today
Other Therapy and Counseling Services Offered at Katy Teen & Family Counseling: Serving Katy, Tx & Houston
At the Katy, Tx location of Katy Teen & Family Counseling, we also provide teen therapy, young adult counseling, and family counseling services.
Below are a few of the other counseling services we provide for teens, families, and young adults in Katy, Tx and Houston:
Board Certified Neurofeedback Therapy
Peak performance (optimal academic brain performance)
Peak performance (optimal athletic brain performance)
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR Therapy)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
About the Author
Quique Autrey is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and an experienced couples therapist and marriage counselor.
He views each individual through the lens of the family system. Through this lens he provides: teen therapy, young adult counseling, family counseling, marriage counseling & couples therapy.
Quique has helped those who experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks, social anxiety, ADHD/ADD, and is trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Quique also has a passion for helping teens, young adults, and adults who may be on the Autism Spectrum. He has a talent for connecting with and helping people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
If you're ready to start your healing journey in marriage counseling or couples therapy, you can call us at 346-202-4662 or email us at info@katyteenandfamilycounseling.com.
